Happy Birthday , Dad

8 years.

Today, 8 years ago, we were celebrating Mother's Day, my parents wedding anniversary and my Dad's birthday. At this time, he announced to me that his MDS had converted to full blown AML. I took it in , and said " We will handle this together. " and six months later as we said our last good bye, again me telling him "I'll handle this ".

Truthfully, that was a lot to continue to handle ( cue the Hamilton musical phrase: " dying is easy young man, living is harder")

Some days its like ground hog day over and over again, other days I dread the thoughts of

what's going to happen today?' What am I going to have to handle? Having a parent die is the normal progression of life, but as every portion of social media reminds me that "on this day..." I am transported back to the time and place, the feelings of fear and loss, and somehow being reminded that I am still handling THIS loss.

Has it gotten easier? Yes, it has taken me 8 years to finally write about it. The trauma and the effects are ever present. Thankfully I still have my Mom, and I'll continue to handle what ever comes along.